Dealing with Discouragement - October 2018

Hi guys, I'm not usually one to complain - in fact I have a lot going on for me, I guess its just I've come up against another obstacle to getting what I want and have slightly freaked out because it all seems insurmountable and I'm not in a position to make the most of the moment.

So I began working on my Patreon page MONTHS ago and have been endlessly tinkering with it, constantly worrying whether it has legs at all - and last week I took the plunge and launched it. I want to make weekly content as I know this will help my cause but all of sudden the elements are against me and I can't seem to get the conditions I need to make videos.

I live near an elementary school and there are constant noises, chimes, music and the kids themselves. Then there are dogs barking, neighbours squeaking doors, motorcycles, construction and sirens and any number of interruptions. Not exactly the ideal environment for sound control basically. It's discouraging and I just want to curl up in a little ball and give up. I don't have a soundproofed studio nor decent lighting and now I feel like I'm crashing and I don't even know if I want to post this blog 'cause I sound like such a whiny bitch.

But hey, I am trying to be real here, and perhaps by writing about it I can somehow be objective about it and try to find some solutions. 

I admit I am kinda tired after a pretty hectic weekend. The 68th installment of "Drunk Poets See God" on Friday was fantastic fun and it was great to read my "Animalistic" poem. I felt satisfied with my delivery and I'm glad I got it out there. I will post it up eventually. 

Saturday was singing for weddings at the Sheraton out near Tokyo Disneyland and the hoardes for Halloween were out in force. I came home and crashed early. 

Sunday was working as a teacher at a kid's Halloween party and later that night I had a set playing at Cheshmeh for my friend Diego's birthday party concert. Rob Moreau joined me on stage with his mandolin for a few songs and we did a smooth and spooky version of The Cure's "Lullaby". All in all I was very happy with the performance and the vibe from the audience was great. I sold a "Sorcha and The Sinners" CD and got paid from the hat which is always a plus. 

Gratitude notwithstanding I suppose I am just exhausted and just needed to recap my weekend. I am doing a lot of great work and am certainly being creative and putting myself out there. Now I just feel pressure to make the commitment to Patreon and make something worthwhile for people to take an interest and investment in. I'm not really worried about the money - but I think I am self conscious about the camera. How I look, the lighting, the sound quality, the technical side of things etc. The videos are going to be basic - I have no illusions about that. Nothing flashy, just me singing the songs I love. Just gotta keep going. Make mistakes as I go. That's how you learn right!?

Sorcha x

PS. Perfectionism sux.

 

 

1 comment

  • Helen

    Helen Tokyo

    Hang in there. Looking forward to tonight’s gig!

    Hang in there. Looking forward to tonight’s gig!

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