Entry #4
“What would your HIgher Self Do?” I just asked this question because I found myself still hating on a person who was pretty important in my life several years ago. I was at fault and tried to apologize. They never acknowledged it and it turned like sour milk in my heart. This person still lives nearby and is still a part of my community, whether I like it or not. I hear their name from time to time and I start to imagine that if and when we do meet again, which is highly likely considering how small the gaijin pool is here in Tokyo… I find myself wondering what would I do? Would I be gracious, or would I be resentful or would I be impartial? I oscillate between all these possibilities and I just feel exhausted. Hating a person really takes up a lot of precious energy, and is kinda cancerous at the same time. So I think my HS is suggesting that I forgive this person - not for them, but for MY peace. It’s so hard to do when you feel like there’s this dissonant unresolved note in the symphony of your life. But what else is there to do?