I'm pissed. I am so angry I don't know what to do with all this rage. Aside from the regular insanity of today's so called “leaders” there's something personal that's struck me in the past few days. Namely the murder of a dear friend of mine. She and I met in the late 90s while I was attending UQ in Brisbane. I was studying sociology and starting to write my own songs and I was hanging in the Women's Room and engaging in the many feminist events and gatherings there. There I befriended Hanna, and she introduced me to her friend Velvet. Her name was Velvet Crystal Sky Pesu. I am sharing her name in the past tense and that just feels crazy to me.
Sure, you hear about these atrocities every day - when it happens to someone else. Death is everywhere. She has her work cut out for her these days. It's always been madness, and I get it. The World is a Violent Place. But when you hear about a friend being murdered, it takes a bit of getting used to. I am in shock, horror, disbelief and depression. I am going through the process of Grief. She and I had lost touch in recent years, but Hanna and I recently reconnected through Serendipity, and Velvet's name came up in conversation recently. Hanna had moved back to Brisbane and she and Velvet were jamming together. Velvet was working as a singer, musician, music therapist, artist and care worker.
The latter job was what got her killed.
Last weekend she went missing after checking in for a “carer” job in the outskirts of Logan - a very remote and notorious area between Brisbane and the Gold Coast. There she was “caring” for a man named Wael Alfar - I can only assume he is an Arabic man. Why she was caring for him, I don't know. His condition, no idea. I can only assume he was mentally unwell and he killed her in cold blood. Her body was found at the bottom of the stairs of his house. She was probably trying to escape. According to reports, she displayed several “injuries” - no idea what kind. She was there TO WORK. TO CARE. AND SHE WAS BRUTALLY MURDERED.
What kind of a world is this?? I am honestly gobsmacked. Why was this man not in a proper facility?? He led police on a high speed chase (with her car I'm told) and was finally apprehended in NSW. He is being extradited back to QLD for justice.
I am honestly having a real hard time trying to work with all of this information. It's personal. It is making my blood BOIL. I hope I can channel this rage into something useful, like this writing or a song or SOMETHING.
It's day three of knowing. I've been talking with Hanna, also a performer and artist. Velvet touched so many people's lives. She was a mother to two teen girls. She was a Force of Nature. Back in the day, she inspired me to sing and perform. The three of us, Hanna, Velvet and myself, performed at the “Venus Rising” festival at The Zoo, Fortitude Valley. I sang and performed my song “Spiral” while Velvet drummed and sang and Hanna bellydanced.
She was a Muse who believed in me and I'll always be grateful to her for that. I went through a really dark patch, and said some awful things to her, (and apologized in time) and she was the most forgiving, gracious person I have ever met.
Now she is gone.
I can feel her around me though. Tuning in to “Velvet Radio” as it were. Writing this down is helping somewhat.
Last night there was a memorial vigil held in her honor in Brisbane. Hanna is in Melbourne. I'm here in Tokyo. But our hearts are entwined at this time. With all who knew Velvet and loved her. And there are many.
I'm so devastated by this and yet there is a feeling of her presence which I am trying to feel into. My heart goes to her family and inner circle. I'm honored that she was my Friend. Farewell Velvet Crystal Sky Pesu. Let us continue the therapy of music and art. It's what she would want.
(photo with Velvet taken on my 21st birthday, 1999, Brisbane)